


Epilogue

by clefairytea



Category: Persona 4
Genre: F/F, Fluff, Internalized Homophobia, Multi, Nonbinary Character, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-19
Updated: 2016-12-19
Packaged: 2018-09-09 21:45:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,208
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8914045
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/clefairytea/pseuds/clefairytea
Summary: “What if someone recognises us?” Yosuke blurts out.
“Yosuke-senpai, last year’s Tokyo Rainbow Pride boasted over 2500 people marching in the parade alone. It is highly unlikely you’ll be noticed.”
--The Investigation Team, a year on.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Slamdunks the P4G epilogue into the garbage where it belongs.
> 
> Anyway have some babygays nervous about their first pride event!
> 
> Warning for internalised homophobia because Yosuke.

“Are we sure about this? I mean, are we totally, absolutely, one hundred percent sure about this?”

It’s a stupid question. Yosuke knows it’s a stupid question. He can’t help but ask it anyway. Kanji, on the other side of the room, pauses his pacing. He looks between Souji and Yosuke, fiddling with his ear piercing. He’s clearly just as on-edge as Yosuke feels.

Souji pauses, looking away from the mirror, twiddling an eyeliner pen between their fingers, and fixes Yosuke with that stupid penetrating gaze. The one they use when Yosuke’s freaking out, and needs to calm down. It always makes Yosuke feel as though Souji is staring straight into his soul. Like there was no secret in the world Yosuke could ever keep from them.

“I mean, it’s just –“ Yosuke splutters, not sure what it’s _just_ , “I mean, what’s even going to be there, anyway?”

“I dunno, a parade?” Kanji offers, glancing at the floor, his own uncertainty evident, before brightening up, squaring up his shoulder and continuing loudly, “I mean, that’s kinda the whole point of going, right? And if any punk gives us trouble, we can handle 'em.”

“Yeah, but…” Yosuke says, and trails off, fingers twitching. He wishes he had his knives to spin and fiddle with. The cord of his headphones would have to do.

“Nobody’s forcing you to come,” Souji says, voice as low and even as ever. Not even remotely freaked out.

“Yeah, well, it’s not exactly gonna be much fun hanging around here in the hotel by myself all day,” Yosuke mutters, checking his reflection in the mirror and fixing his hair.

It was stupid, getting all antsy and worked up. They’d come all the way to Tokyo, and this had, at some point, become part of the plan. In fact, in many ways, it had always been part of the plan. Aside from seeing Souji, it may well be the very foundation of the plan.

Yosuke doesn’t want to be the guy to get cold feet, but the closer it gets, the scarier it seems. Like there'll be no turning back afterwards.

Souji, for their part, seems to have finished up with the eyeliner and lies back on their bed, watching cat videos on their phone, one hand behind their head. Perfectly relaxed. For some reason, their laid-back attitude just makes Yosuke feel tenser.

“What if someone recognises us?” Yosuke blurts out.

The bathroom door opens and Naoto steps out, patting down his chest. He gives Yosuke a very weary look.

“Yosuke-senpai, last year’s Tokyo Rainbow Pride boasted over 2500 people marching in the parade _alone_ ,” he says, “It is highly unlikely you’ll be noticed.”

He pauses, looking down at himself, and then turning to get a view of his profile. Yosuke isn’t about to be the one to tell her – _him_ , but he still isn’t completely flattened out. Judging by the unimpressed look on his face, he already knows.

“Although…I’d be lying if I said I didn’t have my own…reservations about it,” he says, and breathes out.

“…Yeah, I mean…dunno what to expect, really,” Kanji mumbles, "Is it all gonna be old guys or like...? I mean, are we gonna be the only kids there?"

Yosuke hadn't considered that. He's not sure how he feels hanging out with a bunch of old gay guys. As much as he tries to push the thoughts away, the bathhouse springs into his head, those guys purring at each other, the way it always seemed like predator and prey. He scowls, pinching himself. He _knows_ not to think like that any more. He knows guys like that - guys like _him_ , even, aren't like that. 

Still, it was one of those ideas dug deep into his brain, picked up from a million little cues, on TV, in the news, on the internet, from what other guys say. It was hard to unlearn it all.

“Okay, partner, you’ve been to one of these things before, so –“

“I haven’t.”

“What?” Yosuke says. Souji sits up, hair sticking up on one side in a way that makes Yosuke want to reach over and brush it back into place.

“Never been to anything like this,” they continue.

“Then how are you so calm, man! Come on!” Yosuke squawks. Souji shrugs, returning to their phone.

Yosuke sits down cross-legged on the futon, rubbing his cheek. Kanji continues to pace, Naoto returns to the bathroom to adjust his binder again, and Souji scrolls through Vine, one earphone in their ear. Looking across at them, Yosuke notices the way Souji is chewing the inside of their cheek, the way their foot is jiggling up and down.

So maybe they're not as cool and collected as they look.

For some reason, that makes Yosuke feel a little better.

“Hey, so, where’s Ted?” he asks, to break the silence.

“Oh, I think Ted’s doing Nanako-chan's hair in the girls’ room,” Kanji says, “I mean, I offered to do it but Ted insisted…not sure how that’s gonna work out.”

“Rrrrgh, alright, come on! Let’s go see the girls! I can’t mope around in here any longer,” Yosuke says, leaping to his feet and crossing the room, rapping his knuckles on the en-suite’s door, “Hey, Naoto-kun, we’re going to the girls’ room!”

“Noted,” came a muffled voice through the door, “Will regroup with you all when it is opportune.”

“Uh, he okay in there?” Kanji asks slowly.

“He’s fine, come on,” Yosuke replies, grabbing Souji’s wrist and dragging them into the corridor.

“Sensei! Look, me and Nana-chan match!” Teddie bursts out the second they enter the girls’ room, waving a paw at the twin buns on Nanako’s head.

Yosuke doesn’t understand why Teddie insists on wearing that stupid bear suit so often. He supposes today is the day for wearing a weird costume on the streets of Tokyo, if any day is the day for it.

“Woah, you guys haven’t went all out at all!” Chie say, turning away from Yukiko, who was attempting something very complicated and colourful with her eyeshadow, “Where’s the rainbows and the glitter?”

“…I’d rather not with the rainbows and the glitter, honestly,” Yosuke says, cringing at the thought. Just because he was…well…it didn’t mean he had to…

And it wasn’t like he was entirely, _totally_ sure he…

Or that…

Argh!

He shakes his head and feels Souji squeeze his hand. He breathes out, trying to relax.

“Aw, c’mon, senpai,” Rise says, her cheek dabbed with glitter. She snatches a face paint set from the floor, “This is the one day we get to cut loose. Let me paint your cheeks or something!”

“No way,” Yosuke says flatly.

“Awww, c’mon. What about a little rainbow on your arm?”

“Not a chance,” he replies.

“Urgh, Yukiko-senpai won’t let me do it to her either!” Rise pouts, giving a scathing glance at Yukiko, kneeling next to Chie with an eye shadow palette on her lap.

“I just…don’t want to attract too much attention,” she mutters.

“Yeah, can’t we keep it low-key?” Yosuke agrees, glad to at least have one ally in that regard.

“Urgh! We’re going to Pride, guys, the point is to be the _opposite_ of low-key!” Rise cries, throwing her hands up, “I mean, I’m the one who has to deal with the _most_ backlash, right? When was the last time you saw an idol at one of these things?”

“Yeah, c’mon, can’t you two lighten up?” Chie asks, grinning.

“Easy for you to say,” Yosuke mutters, “Your tastes aren’t exactly the best kept secret in Inaba.”

“And you don’t have a historical inn’s reputation to uphold…” Yukiko mumbles.

“Kanji? What about you?” Rise says, ignoring them both.

“…Maybe something on my arm. Just keep that crap away from my face,” he grunts, and sits down next to Rise, who whoops and opens her paints.

“Oh, oh, I want my face painted!” Nanako says, sitting down next to Kanji, and quickly begins chattering her way through all her possible options. Souji releases Yosuke’s hand and joins them.

“They’re real excited, huh?” Yosuke asks Yukiko quietly, after Chie’s make-up is finished and she helps Nanako decide what she wants. Yukiko glances up at him, briefly, and then back at the floor.

“Yes. It must be nice to be so carefree about it,” she mutters, “I’m still not sure what my parents would think if they knew about me and Chie…”

She trails off, and shakes her head.

“What about you, Yosuke-kun?”

“Huh?”

“I have the inn’s reputation to uphold. That is…at least until I graduate,” she says, shifting, the weight of her decision to leave still resting heavily on her shoulders, “What’s holding you back?”

It was a good question.

As much as Yosuke wanted to live without deceiving himself, without trying to run from the truth, it was one of those things that was easier said than done. He thought he’d faced the worst of himself back in the TV, when his shadow stepped forward and stripped away the nobility of his interest for Saki-senpai, revealing the raw need for attention and adventure underneath.

Then he saw Kanji’s shadow, all the things it wanted and couldn’t want. And then he faced Adachi, his nasty attitude, the way he talked about women and girls that made something coil in Yosuke’s gut, all those spiteful, entitled little sentiments familiar in a way Yosuke wished they weren't. And then his partner offered to be his _partner_ in a different sense. And then Souji said the word ‘X-gender’ to him and it got even more confusing from there.

Now…

He isn’t sure what he thinks any more. He’s not sure how his feelings for Saki stack up as actual romantic interest, or just trailing after, puppy-like, anyone who was even the littlest bit nice to him. He’s not sure how much the way he treated the girls was because he likes the way they look or because he really desperately _wants_ to like the way they look.

He wishes it was as easy as fighting a Shadow once, and accepting it there and then, and then just putting a big check mark on the list. Like, ‘Personal Issues: Resolved!’.

“I’m just taking my time,” he says, for lack of anything better to say. Yukiko looks at him, and then back at the floor.

“Me too.”

The door opens and Naoto enters, looking much better put together.

“Are we ready?” he says, “We will need to get a train to Harajuku, and then walk from there to Yoyogi park, which should take around 15 minutes from our current position. If we wish to look around the stalls before joining the parade, we should leave as soon as is convenient.”

Rise rolls her eyes.

“Alright, thanks for the update, commander,” she says, wiggling a brush in the air with a flirty little smile on her face, “Want me to paint your face for you?”

“Absolutely not.”

“Awww.”

“Oh, oh, I wanna look around before the parade!” Chie says, bouncing up and down on the spot, “Do you think they have steak skewers there? There’s gonna be food, right? There’s always food at a festival.”

“It’s not exactly a _festival,_ ” Yosuke says, a pained expression his face, “And really, is food all you think about?”

“Uh, I think about other things,” Chie snaps, hands on her hips.

“Kicking things doesn’t count, senpai,” Kanji mutters.

“Oh, like – like you can talk!” Chie says, pushing Yukiko into a giggling fit that threatens to roll on for at least fifteen minutes.

“May I remind you that we _should_ be leaving as soon as possible to stay on track?” Naoto says, irritated as ever with the group’s slapdash style, his sour expression sending Yukiko further into her giggling fit.

“Yeah, I wanna go!” Nanako says, bouncing up and down, rainbows swiped across each of her cheeks. She latches onto Souji’s arm, smiling up at them, “I wanna see the parade!”

“Does Dojima-san know where you’ve taken her?” Yosuke mutters to them.

“It was a _very_ long conversation,” Souji says, quirking an eyebrow, “We wore him down.”

“You mean you both pulled out the puppy-dog eyes,” Yosuke replies wearily, looking at them both fondly, “Man, has anyone told you two you’re kind of a dangerous combination?”

“It’s been said,” they say, offering Yosuke their free hand, “Are you coming?”

Yosuke thinks of the cameras, the footage that might end up on the news, the photos that might end up circulating the internet, the tiny chance that his part in his might end up circulating all around Inaba by the time they get home. He thinks about how hard it’d be to deny that part of himself after walking around rainbow-covered stalls holding Souji’s hand. And it’s getting pretty hard to deny as is.

But.

He doubts anyone else can see the nervousness in Souji’s otherwise impassive gaze. If Yosuke spends the day wandering around Shibuya alone instead, Souji wouldn’t be able to relax and enjoy themselves anywhere near as much.

And, as hard as he finds it to believe, the other guys want him there too.

“Yeah, you know what, to hell with it,” Yosuke says, winking at them, “Let’s go, partner.”

**Author's Note:**

> 2500 is the only figure I could find in English about the 2012 Tokyo Rainbow Pride event, so apologies if that's inaccurate!
> 
> I was also gonna write some little silly bits about them at the actual event, but then kind of looking at this I felt like this was fairly nice and cohesive as a little piece in and of itself, so here you go!


End file.
